Yearning for the Weekend

It has been quite the emotional roller coaster for me this week. I ended up sending a letter to "Donna's" mom and explaining everything that happened this weekend. I also wrote a letter to the Service Unit Leader and explained everything that Pam and I have had to deal with since November and the debacle that was Thinking Day. I cried the whole time I wrote each of the letters. I have been emotionally spent.

Pam and I spoke on Monday morning about the whole situation on Friday and we both had our stomach in knots thinking of the next event the troop is attending this weekend. The event is taking place at the actual council property which is in a secluded heavily wooded area. The main road was not to far from the scene of a horrible car accident that was broadcast all over the news where 3 teens and a older grandmother died. We havce conjured up so many things that can go wrong with "Donna" that we were getting sick from the nerves. So Pam decided to call the mom. She spoke to the mom about everything that went on Friday. When she told her that Donna tried to escape 4 times, she responded "Wow she is doing that again?" WHAT? You mean to tell me you knew of behavior like this and failed to tell us? After explaining all this Pam went on to tell her that we are really concerned for Donna's safety at the next event. We really can not invest all our time on Donna when we have another 15 girls to watch, maybe it would be best if she can attend the event so that she can keep an eye on her. Donna's Mom said she totally understood and explained that she sustained a back injury and she can't sit for long periods of time and unfortunately can not attend this event. So Pam suggested that in order to insure that Donna is safe would it be possible if she can keep her home from this event and explain to her the behavior that has lead to her having to stay home this time. Donna's mom said that was totally acceptable and then she set up a meeting for next week in order to discuss Donna's behavior at greater length.

A few hours later I called the team coordinator for our troop in order to get her email address and she told me that Donna's mother told her that we BANNED Donna from the next event. WHAT? Pam never used the word BANNED. We were so upset. Not to mention the coordinator said that a lady at council called her about the situation. I was devastated. Here we thought we were attempting to work with the mom and explain the safety concerns we have, and she states that we are trying to exclude her. I recieved a call from Council and I explained everything that has been going on. I didn't hold back a thing: She eats out of the garbage, picks candy off the floor, is rough with some of the girls, does not want to partake in the activities the girls are participating in, displays distracting behavior during meetings,brings toys to meetings and talks to us through them, licks plates, isn't respectful to the leaders or the flag....and the behavior of this weekend was the tip of the iceberg for me. What was once alot of fun for us, feels like a chore. And it breaks my heart to say it. I've never had not one complaint about girl scouting, of none of my girls, till now. Sure we have some girls that we have to remind that they have to wait thier turn, but they listen and correct themselves. Personally, I think that Donna would benefit in a smaller group. We don't have the time to dedicate the one on one attention she requires. Not to mention it isn't fair to the other 15 girls if we did make it a point to assist her only. I told the representative this. And she assured that she would investigate the situation and come back with a solution.

So this whole week has been full of emotional turmoil. I think I am all cried out. I hate to give up on a child. But the thing is, I really don't have the training to handle this, none of us leaders do. Not with 15 other girls. My coleaders are ready to quit. I have 4 girls ready to drop out. It seems that the troop is unraveling all because of the behavior of one little girl. And what's sad is she has no clue that she is causing this. To her, this is normal behavior. And that is what breaks my heart.