Stage Mom....Stikes Again!

I am a very observant person. To a fault. Sometimes I observe certain parenting skills that leave much to be desired. I think to myself "Can this just be ignorance? Surely this person doesn't know any better." But there are some times when I just know that these individuals really do think they are teaching thier children properly and believe that the world around thier children can either suck it up or get the heck out of thier children's way.

There is a parent of one of the girls in my daughter's ballet class that I like to call Stage Mom. I first wrote about her in August 2006. This is one of those individuals who walks in a room and doesn't smile, or say hello. But she makes it a point to look at you from head to toe. If a recital or competition video is playing at the dance studio, she wants everyone to remain silent when her daughter is up on the screen.

Today was Leilani's dance viewing for her tap and ballet classes. While her tap class went wonderfully, I should have prepared to brace myself when stage mom and her youngest daughter sat near us to view the ballet class.

During the first portion of the observation we saw the girls do thier arabesque, and plies and thier work at the bar and across the floor. Stage mom sat and watched her little girl quietly like the rest of us. But that didn't last for long.....

The second half of the class was a sneak peak at the number they will be performing for the dance recital. All the parents were proudly watching thier little ballerinas dance. They did the number to the point that they have gotten to. When they went to thier places to practice it again Stage Mom showed her ugly teeth. She turned to her youngest daughter and in a "stage whisper" (although we all know she wanted the other moms to hear) told her "Watch carefully. Look at all the other girls, they make mistakes and don't look good. Your sister does the whole dance PERFECT."

I was appalled. She didn't say this once, she said it several times. I couldn't believe my ears. First and foremost, how can she say such a mean thing? If she wants to compare, she should compare her daughter to the other girls in her dance troupe, not the girls who only take dance once a week. Her daughter is at the studio 5 times a week. Comparing her daughter to the other girls who are not in the dance troupe is like comparing apples to oranges. You just can't.

After much thought, I figured saying these things makes her feel good. Her daughter is a good dancer, but when she dances with the the dance troupe, she doesn't stand out. The directors daughters, granddaughters and nieces outshine her. This is to be expected of course since those little girls live and breath dance.

But this doesn't make it right. Our girls are all working just as hard. And what is she teaching her girls? That making fun of people is right? And how prepared will her girls be for the real world when as a child they are taught that they are the best, and in the real world they come across someone who does things better?

The mom of another girl was so annoyed by her behavior that she wants to bring it up to the directors attention. My opinion, it won't change her ways. Such is life.