A Public Service Announcement to Parents

You'd think this should go without saying. Knowing how little ones ears are always listening and thier tongues are always wagging. But I will post as a reminder...... Beware of what you say in front of your children or to your children about other parents or children because as quickly as they have left from your mouth, it will be to the ears of others. Keep in mind, that children are not aware that they should not be repeating what Mommy said to the person Mommy was talking about!

I was having a discussion with a pair of Lei's little friends about how friends should treat thier friends. They had a bit of a rough week. There was alot of tattling and mentions of prior incidents. I asked a general question....What is the primary purpose of telling on a someone? I was greeted by silence. Could it be that you want to see the person get in trouble? One second of silence and then.... "Well my mom said that you treat Leilani like a princess!" one said. " YEAH, Mom said you think Leilani is a princess!" the other said. AKA Leilani is spoiled. Aaaaahh, so did she? Hmmm, so isn't that a bag of chips? I just said "Really?" I mean what can I have said to that? Not a thing I would have said would have made a difference, because it seems that this comment has been made on more than one occasion. I doubt the mom meant for those words to get to my ears. And I am sure she would be horrified if she knew that I learned what she really thinks of my parenting.

I'd be the first to admit:

- From the moment Lei was born, I dressed her in pretty pinks and purples and all things frilly and girly.
- I dressed her as a princess, bought her princess dress up things, and even called her princess from before she was able to walk.
- She has whole collections of Disney Princess Items...I can't help it, she's a girl!

She is one of girliest girls that you can run into. BUT with that being said I can tell you for a fact:

- My daughter minds her manners and is as well behaved as a 7 year old should be.
- She's empathatic, and is a loyal friend.
- She repects her elders, and everyone around her.
- She is taught that if she doesn't like something, to just say No thank you. And if someones taste is different than her own then she is to respect thier differences and not comment on them.
- She knows that when she has done something wrong she must quickly apologize.

Mike and I do give Leilani things she desires BUT only if she deserves it. We don't just purchase things for her on a whim. Lei has to earn them. I have a marble jar for doing chores and good deeds. She has to collect 10 perfect scored spelling test to get a treat. The treats she recieves have a small value. We aren't getting her items above the retail value of $10. And if she has done something wrong, she does get setbacks on anything she is about to earn.

I was a bit taken aback to know this mom said this to her children. We have similar values as far as parenting is concerned. But I guess there is one thing I do rather differently. And that is talking about other children in a negative light to my child. The way the girls relayed what thier mom stated to them, was like saying being a princess is bad. This implies to them that thier friend's (and their parents) difference is bad. We parents mold our children's view to a certain extent. If we don't like a particular child's behavior, or if we don't like the fundamental values that a family displays, then what we should do is refrain the exposure. There is no "right" way raise a child. What works for one child, may not work for another. I'd refrain from telling Leilani that the parent who puts a huge emphases on basketball and karate, and refrains from purchasing "girly gear" and toys for thier daughter are treating thier daughter like a "tom-boy" as though it is a bad thing. To each it's own. I rather not cloud Leilani's judgement.

So friends, be very wary of what we say and do, for Little Eyes Are Watching.